The ballad of Tom’s scrotum (joke)

_This was sent to me by e-mail. I don’t often pass e-mail jokes on but this one made me laugh – I hope you like it._

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express
praise for answered prayers.

Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.

She said, “I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a
terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain
was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they
imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

“Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every
move caused him terrible pain.” We prayed as the doctors performed a
delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together
the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold
it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as
they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

“Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Tom is out
of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should
recover completely.”

All the men sighed with unified relief.

The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Tom
Smith.” The entire congregation held its breath. “I just want to tell
my wife the word is _sternum_.”